On Looking For A Gig 1994

        On Looking For A Gig

I discovered it today: vanity and expectations.

Disappointment when they don’t

(The expectations) come or go

My way. I suddenly came to a truth

That I can only call, “Why not?”

Why not walk in and say to all:

The bosses, folk – “Well, here I am, so take my gift!

I give a lift and here’s my name!”

If no one cares, no one’s to blame.

I ought to say “it’s all the same”.

I don’t.

I fuss. Today I cussed.I don’t know why I thought they’d say

“Of course you get the job. Come by

Tomorrow. Start at once.”

I didn’t get to see the man, the guy, the  chief

And forced away without a fief,

I stalked way like some old thief.

They say they’ll call. They seldom do.

That slap says, “Who the hell are you?”

And here I’m always thinking that my presence is enhancing.

Jobs are few, the money low.

I’m either doing something wrong

Or God is stopping this whole show for my protection.

“Screw the song”, He’s saying.

There are hundreds, thousands more equipped,

More talented, more single-minded. Shut your lip!

You’re ordinary. That’s your fate!

Stay at home! Develop! Wait!

Don’t overestimate position, -something’s phony ‘bout position –

It is not a fixed condition; no condition ever is.

Throw away the sword, its thrust for world reward.

Never fixed, things swing twixt and between

The past and now. You ordinary silly cow,

Cook your meals! Stay at home!

Write your ordinary poem.

Be happy ‘cause it feels nice

Just sitting at your beans and rice,

Not judging, striving, in the race,

Thanking God that you survive

This summer day. You saw a hare,

A baby – eating on the lawn.

You saw a mist-fair dawn

Descending on the lake outside.

Stay home, and hide!

Create and take the ordin- as a lotion

On your skin.

You’re not a star,

You’re just the creature that you are

Amid the circumstances ’round you,

Go to ground, eat up, get fat!

Go and buy a summer hat!

My final counsel.”

©On Looking For A Gig 94.6.8

Vaguely About Music; Circling Round Vanities;

Arlene Corwin

 

 

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