Two Ways to Counteract The Negative Effects of Aloneness 2007

Two Ways To Counteract The Negative Effects Of Aloneness

  • How can you start out with faith when you don’t have faith to start out with?
  • You feel alone and you don’t like it. You use the phone, go out, visit, shop, invite someone, solve problems in your head, do a crossword puzzle. You worry, for underneath aloneness is unknown-ness.
  • Unidentified and vague, sometimes with an object, sometimes without, you fret and worry, eat, overeat. You feel alone, abandoned perhaps, neglected, without value. What is alone?
  • If you want to break a habit, watch the urge as it happens. Watching is a passive act. Watch it passively. To purge the urge, watch it as it happens. Monitor.
  • But since we need words, thinking in words, you may need to create a presence – to whom to speak/from whom to listen -. Something in and out of our pre-historic memories, our very genes needs a presence. It is the absence of that presence that you are mistaking for the dark side of aloneness, the hole in your soul. That is the time to start playing the game of faith, a game you have to win if you practice long enough.
  • Pretend with all your unhappy heart that there is someone there giving you the comfort you might be getting from a phone call, a visitor, a problem solver, an information provider, a flatterer or attentive lover. In this process you may converse, ask, answer back – but those are not necessary. The main thing is to watch the discomfort and listen – a kind of listen. You will not feel alone anymore. Moreover, you feel, after a time, wiser and smarter, as if your IQ had gone up. You feel that you have better judgment and control. You start out with a mind-set that negates serenity and end up calm and happy.
  • Keep watching, substituting the ‘presence’ for the thoughts and impulses that are bringing you down. They are only thoughts after all, mind created. Surroundings are the occasion only, genes, the hidden enemy or friend and latent pusher. But, these unhappiness providing forces can be conquered, genes and surrounding notwithstanding.
  • You do not have to be born with faith to obtain faith. Faith removes fear. Its obtainment is practical and practicable. It is a sine qua non for development and self-realization.
  • Wherever you place your faith is the place from which you get results. Whatever the quality of your faith will be the quality of result.

 

 

 

 

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