On Looking For A Gig
I discovered it today: vanity and expectations.
Disappointment when they don’t
(The expectations) come or go
My way. I suddenly came to a truth
That I can only call, “Why not?”
Why not walk in and say to all:
The bosses, folk – “Well, here I am, so take my gift!
I give a lift and here’s my name!”
If no one cares, no one’s to blame.
I ought to say “it’s all the same”.
I don’t.
I fuss. Today I cussed.I don’t know why I thought they’d say
“Of course you get the job. Come by
Tomorrow. Start at once.”
I didn’t get to see the man, the guy, the chief
And forced away without a fief,
I stalked way like some old thief.
They say they’ll call. They seldom do.
That slap says, “Who the hell are you?”
And here I’m always thinking that my presence is enhancing.
Jobs are few, the money low.
I’m either doing something wrong
Or God is stopping this whole show for my protection.
“Screw the song”, He’s saying.
There are hundreds, thousands more equipped,
More talented, more single-minded. Shut your lip!
You’re ordinary. That’s your fate!
Stay at home! Develop! Wait!
Don’t overestimate position, -something’s phony ‘bout position –
It is not a fixed condition; no condition ever is.
Throw away the sword, its thrust for world reward.
Never fixed, things swing twixt and between
The past and now. You ordinary silly cow,
Cook your meals! Stay at home!
Write your ordinary poem.
Be happy ‘cause it feels nice
Just sitting at your beans and rice,
Not judging, striving, in the race,
Thanking God that you survive
This summer day. You saw a hare,
A baby – eating on the lawn.
You saw a mist-fair dawn
Descending on the lake outside.
Stay home, and hide!
Create and take the ordin- as a lotion
On your skin.
You’re not a star,
You’re just the creature that you are
Amid the circumstances ’round you,
Go to ground, eat up, get fat!
Go and buy a summer hat!
My final counsel.”
©On Looking For A Gig 94.6.8
Vaguely About Music; Circling Round Vanities;
Arlene Corwin
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Arlene Corwin Poetry 